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This article is from Today's
Native Father, issue #132, March/April, 2004. Related articles from this issue: |
When a Parent Has Already Failed |
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One day when Paul was at a neighbour’s house, he told a lie about something his father was doing at work. The story soon got back to his father Matthew, who was very angry about the lie and punished Paul severely. This hurt Paul deeply, because he loved and admired his father. He ran out of the house and did not come in until after dark. He began to hate his father and feel that he never wanted to talk to him again. After he had been in bed for a while, Paul heard his father crying. Soon he heard his father come into his bedroom, put his hand on Paul’s shoulder and ask for forgiveness. His father confessed that it had been wrong for him to punish his son when he was angry. Paul forgave his father and began to cry, too. He asked his father to forgive him for telling the lie and for running away. Matthew and Paul talked about how they would make things right with the neighbour who had heard the lie. Later in life, Paul became a full-time Christian worker. The things he had learned with his father about truthfulness and forgiveness helped him much. When a man has failed his family, he can do one of three things: (1) blame others and deny that he has done anything wrong; (2) give up, thinking that he cannot change anything; (3) confess the failure, seek forgiveness and make restitution. Only the parent who blames others or gives up is truly a failure. God is able to make beauty out of ashes. He is not turned away by man’s weakness. All God asks of a man is obedience. God can take the weakness and turn it into glory for himself. Hurts leave scars. Although God can restore an offending parent, there will always be the painful memories for both offender and victim. Children who vow never to “be like their father” often find themselves acting just like him or worse. God often allows fathers and their children to fail when they try to succeed in their own strength. For those who trust Him, God is able to break the generational power of family failures. Adapted from Family Studies, NYM Ministries, 1989. Used by permission. |
