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This article is from Today's
Native Father, issue #130,November/December, 2003. Related articles from this issue: |
Defining Who I Am A letter to mothers by Ilva Hertzler |
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Dear Moms, If God wills, I still have a number of years left to live on this earth. I have no guarantee that I will have good health or pleasant surroundings, but I want to use my time and my energies wisely for the Lord. About eleven years ago, I received a new understanding about myself as a woman that has changed my life. I have new energy, new joy to live for God, because I know He enjoys me the way He has created me as a woman. A unique woman, one of a kind! But who am I? I have been reading books, talking to my husband and my friends over the years, reading God’s Word, praying, reflecting on things that I am learning about myself. It is a journey that I will continue until I go to Heaven, and then I will be ALL I was created to be. In the meantime, I continue to learn and grow. I want Jesus to shine through me. I want to cooperate with the Lord in all He has for me. Not long ago, I spent a day fasting and praying. Part of that time I was thinking about the responsibilities and roles that I have. What keeps me busy? What should I be thinking about? Should I be giving more attention to other areas of life? I was a bit surprised at what I came up with. I took a piece of paper and drew a small circle in the middle. That was I, a woman. I then drew lines out from that circle. Each line had another circle at the end. Each of those circles stood for a role that I have: wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, mother-in-law, counsellor, friend, aunt, niece, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, cousin. I then thought about each of those roles and what responsibilities go with them, not only responsibilities, but also privileges, longings and desires. At certain times in my life, I could have more circles if I have more assignments or roles to fill in life, depending on where I am and who I am with. This helped me to define more clearly who I am; it helped me to think of those around me in more concrete terms and what my relationship to them is. Other ways to think about how unique I am are physical characteristics, language, skills or talents, emotional health, nationality, religion, career, political beliefs, family of origin, hobbies, birth order and personality traits. What other things could you add to this list? I am sure there are many. (I would love to hear what you have added for my own benefit.) As I wrote about these areas in my journal, it seemed that the Lord was lifting up my heart to Him in a new way. I felt more renewed in my commitment to Him and to those other precious people in my life. I found out why I was busy, but I also found that my life had some open areas, too, areas that could be more produc-tive for Him. I am asking God for direction. Has this helped you to think about your life in a new way? I hope so. I have friends who seem get a lot done for God. They provide a stimulus for me to do more for Him, too. We are not all called to do the same thing in life, but we are called to be faithful with what we have been uniquely given. I am one of a kind in this whole wide world. I have been planted here at this time in history. So I will “bloom where I have been planted” as a unique woman, loved by God. Now who are YOU? Spend some time thinking and praying about it. Accept what God has given you to be for Him. One more thing. Around all those circles I drew one great big circle which stood for God. In every relationship and role that I have, God is there, too. He is underneath and in everything I do and am. I depend on Him in all of life. Blooming for Him, Ilva |
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