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This article is from Today's
Native Father, issue #121, May/June, 2002. Related articles from this issue: |
If I Were Advertising for a Husband a letter to mothers by Ilva Hertzler |
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Dear Moms I am not a regular reader of the Singles Directory in our local paper. But every once in a while, it makes for some interesting browsing. I find it simply amazing what people list as qualifications in a person they hope will make them happy. Equally intriguing is how they describe themselves, hoping that someone will call them up. One lady, after she had described herself, had only one thing to ask. The person she was seeking must be willing to “hang out.” Really now! And what kind of healthy, vibrant relationship does she expect to come from hanging out? To be truthful, I was sobered several weeks ago in reflecting on how often in my marriage I have taken my husband for granted. Of course I’m charming and love-able, thank you very much. Why wouldn’t he auto-matically love me with all of his big heart? If I were going to advertise myself to my husband, what would I put in the ad? What would make him want to be with me at all, let alone for 35 years? Is there anything interesting, comforting, loving and attractive to draw him to me? What kind of person am I? If I were to be videotaped for the next 24 hours, what would I see? What would my voice sound like? What about my words, eating habits, body language and facial expressions? What do I read, watch or listen to? Do I maintain personal hygiene and keep myself presentable? How do I use my time? Is there a place in my heart for my husband? Am I a one-man woman? Do I stay interested in his life, dreams and feelings? And what would God see in my inner being? It will eventually come out in words or actions, won’t it? Would there be faith, love, goodness, self-control, kindness and knowledge in my heart (2 Peter 1)? What about joy, peace and gentleness (Galations 5)? Purity, reverence, meekness and inner beauty are especially taught to women in 1 Peter 3. These are qualities not often mentioned in the Singles Directories. But if I am aware of the Holy Spirit’s work in my life, if I am maturing as a Christian woman, wouldn’t these qualities be much more desirable than “hanging out?” Our 35th wedding anniversary was March 25, 2002. My photo album has two pictures I clipped from newspapers many years ago. Two older couples were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries. Everyone who saw these pictures would ask me about them. Did I know them? No. Well, why did I have them in my album with pictures of my own friends and family? Because the contrasts were so striking! One picture showed a wife with a grim face and a husband who looked sad and subdued. How did they ever make it to their 50th, I wondered. The other couple both looked peaceful and contented. They even looked enough alike to be brother and sister. Maybe that came from a lot of kissing and looking into each other’s faces for 50 years! When I think of marriages which seem to have foundations of gelatin, my heart goes out to the husbands and the wives they live with! Do they have any idea how they are affecting each other and their children? What about me? Do I have any idea how I am affecting my husband and children? Is hanging out, or eating out, too big a priority for me? I am looking forward to the next 35 years with my husband, if God gives us this time together. And I hope to be more alert and not take his goodness to me for granted. I also want to be more obedient to God’s Holy Word, the Bible, as the guide for my life. What about you? Ilva |
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