NYM Ministries: What Do You Need Me For (from Today's Native Father #118)

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PRODUCT/RESOURCES INDEX Today's Native Father Archive of Articles Free booklets Marriage/Parenting Tip Calendar of workshops E-mail questions or comments	This article is from Today's Native Father, issue #118, November/December, 2001. Related articles from this issue: A Better Way to Treat Women What Difference Does the Gospel Make Keepers of the Home
	What Do You Need Me For by David Hertzler
	IMAGINE THIS. Your wife looks you in the eye and asks, “What do you need me for?” This happened to a friend of mine. He gave her the stock “male” answers: keep the house, satisfy his sexual needs, bear children, things like that. She was not impressed. “You could hire someone to do all that for you,” she told him. Male attitudes about women have a very long history. Women in the ancient Mediterranean world Athens gave the world many useful ideas in science, mathematics and philosophy. Most of these ideas came from the men. Men were considered higher beings than women. They were thought to have mental abilities and inner spiritual qualities that women did not have. Men were the true citizens of this classical Greek state. Women had no vote and no presence in the assembly or courtroom. They were barred from all religious activities. The penalty, if caught at a religious ceremony, was “any insult short of death” (for example, rape). They had little choice in who or when they would marry. They could be divorced for almost any reason. Was a woman valued for anything? Of course. As a wife, she was needed to produce legitimate children and to transmit citizenship to her sons. She could provide pleasure to her husband if he chose to let her. She supervised the household and was in charge of the children. She could visit her female neighbours but was not to appear alone on the streets. In rural areas, she usually helped with the agriculture. But most women wanted to guard against suntan, since the ideal in female beauty was a pale complexion. This was the “free” woman. Slave women had even fewer privileges. The picture was much the same in other cultures of the time. Women “belonged” to the men in much the same way that a man’s cattle, land or buildings belonged to him. Women existed for his pleasure alone. The laws gave men a great deal of liberty to treat their wives or daughters as they pleased. That is not surprising, since the laws were made by men. One Roman leader wrote, “Why should men forbid their wives to indulge in clothing and jewelry. They cannot hold public office or become priests or do any of the other things that enrich the life of a man. They might as well spend their time making them-selves pretty.” Jesus teaches a better way Into this circle of Greek influence walked a barefoot teacher one day, who took a radically different view of women. He was, after all, the Creator of women. Here is what Jesus and his followers taught about women. At one time it was said that teachings like this “turned the world upside down.” ¨Men are to protect, provide for and respect all women, guarding their integrity (1 Timothy 5:2). ¨Wives can and should worship together with the husbands, not separately as in the Jewish syna-gogues or excluded altogether as in Athens (Acts 1:13-14). ¨If a husband does not treat his wife with respect and consideration, his spiritual power will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). ¨Women have no need to use artificial beauty aids on their outer body, since they have inner qualities equal in worth to a man’s (1 Timothy 2:9-10). In short, women and men, though different in function, were equal in essence and in the image of God. What do you need me for? The Apostle Peter, one of Jesus’ followers, suggests a fitting answer to this question. He tells husbands, “Treat them (wives)…as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life” (1 Peter 3:7 NIV). God’s plan was for husbands and wives to experience fullness of life together. God took a part out of the first man to make the first woman (Genesis 2:21-22). Marriage is a search to reassemble the missing parts and to recover some of that original unity. Working, playing, bearing and raising children and worshiping together help to bring about a oneness that nourishes feelings of worth for both husbands and wives. This lesson is part of the Native Family Seminar offered twice annually at Beaver Lake Camp, Site 306 Box 1 RR 3, Dryden ON P8N 3G2.