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This article is from Today's
Native Father, issue #108, March/April, 2000. Related articles from this
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Communicating Faith to Teenage
Children by David Hertzler |
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As the child begins his teenage years, he grows very rapidly physically. A boy is becoming a young man, and a girl is becoming a young woman. With this comes a change in emotions (feelings). Sometimes the teenager has feelings of great power. At other times he is full of fear because he does not understand these new and strange feelings. At this time the young teen wants to be like those of his own age. He wants to dress like them, talk like them and act like them. Other teens will laugh at him if he doesn’t. This is called “peer pressure.” The relationship which parents have already built up through the years with the child becomes very important. Almost every child, as he approaches adulthood, tests the beliefs that his parents have taught him. He asks questions because he is learning to think for himself. He may question everything his parents taught him. He has to try out his new freedom and new strengths and learn what he believes for himself. Parents can no longer force him to believe the same things they believe. He realizes that he is becoming an adult and is responsible to God. Parents need not give long lectures to their child at such times. They need to be special friends with their child, do things with him and help the child to feel free to share his thoughts and experiences with them. Parents need to think through their reasons for saying “No” and patiently share those reasons with their child. A teenager appreciates discussion, and the reasons the parents give will help him form his values and make good judgments later in life. The illustration below may help in understanding this.
The straight line stands for what the parents believe. All through childhood, the child accepted what his parents believed. He may have questioned these beliefs sometimes, but usually he accepted them When he begins to become an adult, the child starts thinking his own thoughts. If the child’s beliefs and values are in sharp conflict with those of his parents, what will bring him back closer to what his parents believe? A good, open relationship will bring him back. Parents cannot force the child to believe as they do. Force will only make him go further away. Many parents have conflicts with their teenagers. They get into arguments over many things and ideas. When parents and young people get upset and argue, much damage is done. Parents must control their anger and impatience. If parents do get upset or angry with their child, it is very important for them to ask forgiveness. Children don’t expect parents to be perfect. Children respect parents who will ask forgiveness for a wrong they have done. From Family Studies, © 1985 by NYM Ministries. Used by permision. Family Studies may be purchased for $18.00 plus shipping costs. Order Form. |
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