NYM Ministries: Mistakes Grandparents Make (from Today's Native Father #113)

NYM Ministries
Family Life Resources•Newsletter

Subscribe to receive Today's Native Father with all its features FREE,
| Articles Index | Read current issue of TNF |

PRODUCT/RESOURCES INDEX

Today's Native Father

Archive of Articles

Free booklets

Marriage/Parenting Tip

Calendar of workshops

E-mail questions or comments

This article is from Today's Native Father, issue #108, March/April, 2000. Related articles from this issue:
Grandparenting: Not the Same as Parenting
Grandparents in the Bible
Memories of My Grandfather

Mistakes Grandparents Make
by David Hertzler

The angry grandparent: Never has been able to forgive his/her parents or children for hurts experienced. Also carries grudges against others outside the family.

The sour grandparent: Life has been filled with so much work and worry that he/she has never learned how to laugh and have fun with children.

The shaming grandparent: Subscribes to the old belief that praise makes a child proud. Keeps cutting family members down to size to make sure they don’t get swelled heads.

The detached grandparent: “I taught my children. Now I’m letting them teach their own.” Has no idea of the impact that a team of two parents and four grandparents can have on a child.

The spoiling grandparent: Tries to buy the affections of grandchildren with lavish gifts. “If Mom and Dad say No, ask Grandpa.” Undercuts parental discipline with misplaced generosity.

The fearful grandparent: Attached to the old ways and suspicious of change. Not interested in the new things enjoyed by the younger generations.

The deaf grandparent: Not really deaf, just doesn’t seem to hear what you’re saying or feeling. Keeps turning the conversation around to his own life, concerns and accomplishments.

Grandparents are needed. . .

As counsellors: “From our experience, we think it would be good for you to...”

As helpers: “Let me help you do that.”

As storytellers: “One day when I was a little boy, something funny happened.”

As encouragers: “Don’t give up. I believe you can do it.”

As historians: “When I was young, there were no houses here, nothing but bush.”

As examples: “Watch me and I’ll show you some ways to live that will be helpful.”

As friends: “Sure, I’ve got time to go fishing with you now.”

As comforters: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

While parents are needed

As leaders: “This is what I want you to do. This is the way, walk in it.”

As trainers: “We’ll work together on this until you learn to do it for yourself.”

As lawgivers: “God tells us in His Word that we should. . .”

As motivators: “If you do this, you will get a reward. If you don’t, there will be a penalty.”

To pass on traditions: “This is the way our people used to do this. We will learn to do it together as a family.”

As authority: “I expect you to do what I say until you are old enough to take responsibility for yourself.”

As administrators: “Let’s plan a family schedule for this month that will give us some time for fishing.”

As providers: “I must work hard to keep the family housed, fed and clothed.”