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This article is from Today's
Native Father, issue #111, September/October, 2000. Related articles from this issue: |
Marriage is . .
. by Mary Ann Yutzy |
| My cousins have been exchanging E-mails on the subject of love and marriage.
Here are my thoughts.
Marriage is getting blue liniment in your eye when you forget and scratch your eyelid after rubbing down your husband’s troublesome knee. Marriage is understanding that love softens the contours of the face you love so that you can’t really tell whether he is handsome or not—you just like how he looks. Marriage is looking at all the men among your brothers and cousins and the guys your sisters and female cousins married, and being thankful that you got the one you did. (Imagine some of those faces first thing in the morning!) Marriage is not panicking when the bank account and the business ledger are three thousand dollars apart and it means taking all day to go through those figures that you should have gone through months before, and finding the mistake—in his favour. Marriage is cooking supper because he likes to smell it when he comes home, singing because he likes to hear it, smiling because he likes to see it, and finding that your choices lighten your own load and brighten your day. Marriage is accepting the leadership of a very young husband when he said, “I want you to know that I do not believe in the Hereditary Blues that your family talks about, and they are not going to be tolerated in this house.” My astonishment at this pronouncement was surpassed only by my indignation. (“What right does he have, anyhow?”) Twenty-six years has proven over and over the wisdom of this youthful decree. In fact, as the years have passed, I realize how out of character it was for my husband to do such a thing, and I believe more and more that it was a “God thing,” a gift to me that has helped me to keep my emotional equilibrium. Marriage is realizing that out of all the women he could have had, (and all the ones who wanted him), he still chose me, and that I chose him, and that choice is renewable daily, is valid and is an integral part of what makes everyday living meaningful and exciting. Marriage is a wonderful provision for incredible sex and creative romance. It is also a pretty sure way to learn that respect can be more important than the right chemistry, patience more effective than passion and space as necessary to intimacy as is the attraction that binds you to your beloved. Marriage is doing laundry one more time, and, as you fold those socks and shirts and underwear, praying for the man to whom they belong, that he will be wise for the challenges he faces, strong for the burdens he carries, courageous for the family he leads and faithful to the God he serves. It is realizing that your real strengths lie in the team you have created together, that your home is one of the greatest tools for the spreading the Good News and that your family is the best gift you can give back to the Father. Thanks be to God for this incredible gift. Mary Ann Mary Ann is a cousin to Ilva, who usually writes this column. She lives with her husband and children in Delaware, U.S.A. |
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