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This article is from Today's
Native Father, issue #106, November/December, 1999. Related articles
from this issue: |
Spending Time with
God by Ilva Hertzler |
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DearLadies, One of the deepest longings of my heart over the years is to be close to God, to really know Him, to know that He loves me and really cares for me, to know that He understands. I accepted Jesus into my heart at a very young age. My heart was tender toward the Lord and I wanted to live for Him with my whole heart. I wanted to obey Him. I attended church, listened closely to the sermons and had a high respect for the Bible. My conscience was alive and sensitive. When I was a child, the hymns and gospel songs of the church spoke to me and for me in a deep way. Even today I hear songs that bring back the memories, the emotions of my early years. The cry, the prayer, the longing of my young heart pours out in the music from long ago. The music connects me with the heart of God. But these things were not enough. Through the years I have not had prayer and Bible reading in my life as I have wanted to. I would see this motto “Seven days without prayer make one weak,” and guilt would wash over me. I knew that I was not as strong in the Lord as I could be. I guess we assume that reading our Bibles should be easy, fun, relaxing and natural. Praying should be like talking on the phone. Punch in the numbers and presto! you’ve got God on the line. In some ways that’s right. For the most part, though, I’ve found that it is hard work and it takes discipline. Many times I don’t feel like it. One friend of mine tells me that when she gets up in the morning, she does the hardest thing first, pray! As a young mother, I longed for the day when I’d have uninterrupted time to meditate, read the Bible and pray, and come away from those times glowing and dancing with all the wonderful things God had revealed to me in those hours I’d spent with Him. Actually, I thought those times would come to me. I would not need to, well, plan them. Life would be so much less busy and it wouldn’t be so hard to find time to spend with God. Dream on!! It isn’t happening! Now I’m an older mother. My children are no longer home with us. And my life seems busier than ever. I still don’t have enough time to spend with the Lord! Or do I? Do I have the time? Yes! I have just as much time as anyone else in this world. It depends on how I use it. But you cannot believe the excuses that come up for not having that special time with the Lord. Or can you? For me, I’ve found that I need to get up early for my quiet time or else it just doesn’t happen. My day gets started and the demands of schedule take over. But I’m so tired! My mind goes numb with weariness. And the house is cold—or hot, as the case may be. Excuses and complaints abound. One time I decided that I would get up early and take a good book along to my spot to read. I wanted to see if I could stay awake, if my mind would wander around, and if I minded the temperature. Miracles! I was alive, awake, and read with gusto. So what was wrong when I wanted to study my Bible and pray? I’ll let you answer that. I know we women are busy these days. We all need to find our own time of retreat and quiet with the Lord. One woman with twelve children would throw her apron up over her head when she needed time with the Lord. Some have a special chair they flee to and the children know that mom is talking to Jesus right now. Some place Bibles around in the house so they can read here and there as they do the duties of the day. The last thing I want to do is to make you feel guilty. I’ve realized more how much the Lord misses me when I don’t keep my appointment with Him each day. We are in relationship with each other. It takes time and communication to deepen my love for Him, to soak in His love, to learn to know Him. That is what we all need in our lives. To spend time with that old, old Love Letter from God Himself, to pray to the God of the Ages, to spend time in His presence makes me a new person. It’s a miracle! Ilva |
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